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Business Witticisms

Business Quips, Witticisms and Thoughts

Published June 9, 2021
​Updated September 4, 2022
Image of Mark Twain with saying about the size of the fight in the dog.
​Definition of Witticism (see Mark Twain)

A cleverly witty and often biting or ironic remark. Synonyms within the context of this page include: wise crack, one-liner, maxim, saying, proverb or adage. This quote is attributed to Harry Howell in Forbes Scrapbook of Thoughts on the Business of Life: Volume I circa 1950.

​It is always a challenge to determine who said what first, isn't it?

Aristotle probably said this too, in so many words.
​ Business Quips and Witticism
"A man's life and beliefs are written upon his hands, upon his face and form, in his words and actions, and into his penmanship."
Carroll D. Murphy, "Handling Men: The Man for the Job," 1917
Crystal ball with the Interview Process characteristics.

"In this new era of social media, we have yet to rise to the point of displaying the best of our humanity. Instead, in our social interactions, we are little more than a family … ​of animals.

"Set an example for your children … ​be better!"
Peter E. Greulich, Inspired by Demarest Lloyd's "Laissez-faire of Social Self-Interest," April 2022
Picture of young girl facing down an animal.

"If you use fear to light a fire under your employees, ​expect ​the individual to eventually flame out or your corporate society to experience massive, isolated, cultural firestorms. The symptom--the smoke that warns there is a problem--is the eternal, ever-onward, decay in productivity."
Peter E. Greulich, July 17, 2019
Image of match burning out.

​"The man who knows 'how,' will always have a job, but the man who knows 'why,' will always be his boss. … ​Men become really important after they graduate from 'how' to 'why.'
F. W. Nichol, IBM Vice-President
​IBM Sales School,1935
Image of How? and Why? and tagline: Which is more important?

"Assign individual targets, but focus on team attainment."
Peter E. Greulich, October 20, 2019
Image of kis playing soccer gathered around coach.

"​Long-distance supervision shows a short-distance mind. ... ​Nothing makes me more impatient, more restless, more irritable, than to be controlled by something or someone I can’t see and don’t know."
George F. Johnson
George F. Johnson and His Industrial Democracy, 1935 ​
Image of man on a long distance phone call.

"In an army of blind men, a one-eyed man will be the leader."
Edward A. Filene
​Successful Living in the Machine Age, 1931
Image of a single exclamation mark surrounded by question marks.

​If Ida M. Tarbell were alive today, I wonder if this is a question the muckraker might ask of us: "Have we really had a fundamental change in our society if 'Good old boy networks' are replaced by nothing more than 'Good old girl networks?' Aren't we just replacing yes-men with yes-women?' "
Peter E. Greulich, ​Observations on the changes at IBM
Image of a

"If our children have ability we can thank God, ​but as to health and character we contribute something."
Gerard Swope, Swope of GE, 1930s
Father and child looking at sunset.

​"The past should never be a hitching post, but a lamp post to highlight past successes and failures and thereby increase the odds of future success by eliminating the repetition of the failures."
Peter E. Greulich, A thought while reading True Steel by Christy Borth, 2020
Man flattened by failure on the road to success.

"Gentlemen's agreements fail for want of gentlemen."​
The Story of George M. Verity, True Steel
Picture of handshake.

​"I find it hard to breathe in a data vacuum."
Claudia Goldin, Professor at Harvard University
​Freakonomics Interview, 2016
​"It isn't so much the 'data vacuums' that bother me, as much as ​'vacuous thinking' that accepts so many 'data soundbites' without question."
Peter E. Greulich, 2021
Picture of the universe with astronaut in it.

​"​A business organization made up of second-class men all working together will be more effective than one made up of stars who work only for themselves."
Harvey S. Firestone, The Book of Business, 1920
Picture of gears.

A life insurance agent boasted to his competitor, "My company paid a widow the day after the funeral of her husband."

"That's nothing," replied the rival agent. He pointed to a nearby multi-story high-rise in New York City and said,​ "One of my patrons recently fell from the top of that building over there. I handed him a check for the full amount of his policy as he passed the second-story window."
Adapted from The Equitable Record, Spring, 1902
Picture of Equitable slogan: Protector of Widows and orphans.

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        • Supporting Home Morale
        • Employee Military Service
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      • Let Your Guard Down
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