Getting Employees to Let Their Guard Down
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Published June 8, 2021
Updated April 30, 2023 |
Getting a person to let their guard down is not easy. Just verbalizing the words raises a person’s defenses. It is as if the suggestion, alone, raises obstacles.
First, a person has to consider the source. If a spectator advises a boxer—as he enters the ring—to let his guard down, the outsider probably doesn’t have the pugilist’s best interests at heart. The timing of the advice betrays a concern over a wager, not the boxer’s safety.
Second, a person has to consider the setting. A young football player letting his guard down as he digs in to protect his quarterback is not good mental discipline; yet the same player must have the discipline—if he doesn’t want to repeat the same mistake on the next play—to hear the coach’s advice.
No matter the timing, an employee’s guard must come down to hear an executive. A true coach sets the right environment so that an employee will be most receptive to the message. To get a person to let down their guard, a consistent, predictable, and positive coaching action works best, not words.
First, a person has to consider the source. If a spectator advises a boxer—as he enters the ring—to let his guard down, the outsider probably doesn’t have the pugilist’s best interests at heart. The timing of the advice betrays a concern over a wager, not the boxer’s safety.
Second, a person has to consider the setting. A young football player letting his guard down as he digs in to protect his quarterback is not good mental discipline; yet the same player must have the discipline—if he doesn’t want to repeat the same mistake on the next play—to hear the coach’s advice.
No matter the timing, an employee’s guard must come down to hear an executive. A true coach sets the right environment so that an employee will be most receptive to the message. To get a person to let down their guard, a consistent, predictable, and positive coaching action works best, not words.
Getting Employees to Let Their Guard Down
- Coaching in Business is Tough Work
- One Chief Executive Officer's Method
- The Chief Executive Officer Must Be a Shapeshifter
- The Goal Is to Build Trust and Confidence
Coaching in Business is Tough Work
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When a CEO calls an individual into their office for a discussion, critical dynamics are at play. The last thought that would cross most employees’ minds as they walk into a corner office is to let their guard down.
In fact, in such a situation, it is both the “who” and the “setting” that raises barriers. Much to the chagrin of both, conflict may be the result when nothing more than good counsel was sought. As an employee enters a corner office they wonder, “At this particular moment, is this my coach dispensing advice, or is this my leader dispensing a ‘thus sayeth the lord?’ ” Then, if the conversation starts to rumble, the contestant wonders if the executive across the desk from them has just touched gloves, as it were, and wants a good contest—no matter the outcome, or has a winner been preordained? |
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One Chief Executive Officer’s Method
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Watson Sr., the traditional founder of IBM, communicated to an employee entering his office in a non-verbal way that they should either let their guard down or put their dukes up. Mrs. Ruth Leach Amonette, describes in Among Equals Watson Sr.’s technique.
" Once, he summoned me upstairs to his office and asked me to sit in the chair at the right side of his desk. This would be a friendly conversation, I knew. Had he asked me to sit in the chair on the other side of his desk, the conversation might not have been so pleasant." She knew—in an instant—that her Chief Executive Officer was seeking advice. (I have not found any reference by Watson that he did this consciously. This was probably a case of a good employee discerning an executive eccentricity, and in this instance, it was one of Tom Watson’s.). |
After he confirmed her thoughts, he summoned the editor and the entire THINK Magazine staff into his office—who were obviously now standing on “the other side” of his desk. He told them what needed to be done in the next issue. The editor, not realizing the side of the desk he was on, said, “But we can’t implement that idea now for the next issue. The presses are rolling at this very moment.” To which Mr. Watson responded, “Well then, stop the presses, now!”
So in November of 1943, THINK Magazine rolled out an issue more like Readers Digest with entirely self-contained articles that always continued on the next page until finished—the reader would never again be asked to flip ten or twenty pages to read the conclusion of an article. The following month, THINK Magazine carried an article by the same Ruth Leach Amonette entitled “Women in Industry.” It displayed her new title of Vice‑President, International Business Machines Corporation. She had become IBM’s first female senior executive. If any CEO ever wanted to send a clear message that providing good advice in the corner office would advance a career, Mr. Watson knew how to accomplish it.
Setting the situation properly also ensures that diligent employees stand in their own defense. William Simmons in Inside IBM: The Watson Years writes a wonderful story about how he was (almost) fired by Mr. Watson but then promoted a few days later to Director of Product Planning.
He found himself on the wrong side of the Chief Executive Officer’s desk after a real estate agent claimed that he and another IBMer had lied about a real estate deal; when, in fact because of legal concerns, corporate had requested that the agent be kept at arm’s length. Watson Sr. looked at the two employees standing before him and said, “We have no room for such people in IBM—they are fired. Gentlemen, I’m sorry. I’m afraid you have lied to this man.”
While the IBMer next to Bill “appeared terrified,” Bill Simmons stood his ground. As Bill explained the circumstances, he saw the “storm front” slowly dissipate from Watson’s face. Then Tom Watson said with a small smile, “I believe you have been economical of the truth, but that is not lying.” A few days later the Chief Executive Officer promoted Mr. Simmons to his new position at IBM.
So in November of 1943, THINK Magazine rolled out an issue more like Readers Digest with entirely self-contained articles that always continued on the next page until finished—the reader would never again be asked to flip ten or twenty pages to read the conclusion of an article. The following month, THINK Magazine carried an article by the same Ruth Leach Amonette entitled “Women in Industry.” It displayed her new title of Vice‑President, International Business Machines Corporation. She had become IBM’s first female senior executive. If any CEO ever wanted to send a clear message that providing good advice in the corner office would advance a career, Mr. Watson knew how to accomplish it.
Setting the situation properly also ensures that diligent employees stand in their own defense. William Simmons in Inside IBM: The Watson Years writes a wonderful story about how he was (almost) fired by Mr. Watson but then promoted a few days later to Director of Product Planning.
He found himself on the wrong side of the Chief Executive Officer’s desk after a real estate agent claimed that he and another IBMer had lied about a real estate deal; when, in fact because of legal concerns, corporate had requested that the agent be kept at arm’s length. Watson Sr. looked at the two employees standing before him and said, “We have no room for such people in IBM—they are fired. Gentlemen, I’m sorry. I’m afraid you have lied to this man.”
While the IBMer next to Bill “appeared terrified,” Bill Simmons stood his ground. As Bill explained the circumstances, he saw the “storm front” slowly dissipate from Watson’s face. Then Tom Watson said with a small smile, “I believe you have been economical of the truth, but that is not lying.” A few days later the Chief Executive Officer promoted Mr. Simmons to his new position at IBM.
The Chief Executive Officer Must Be a Shapeshifter
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Many employees become chameleons when threatened: they blend into their surroundings. The last thing a chief executive needs is a company full of employee-chameleons disappearing into the woodwork every time he or she enters a room. The daily life of successful leaders involves many transformations and, of necessity, they must assume different personas.
An executive—that is truly extracting the best from everyone—must feel like a shapeshifter. |
There are times when advice and counsel are sought; there are times when a sparring match is needed to reveal the weaknesses of an idea; and there are times when a decision has been made and it is time to move forward. If an executive hears discussion when she needs action or notices a deathly silence when he requires advice, they should ensure the employee knows which side of the desk they are on. An employee needs guidance to deliver consistent results—and consistent, predictable, positive, non-verbal prompts can set the right environment.
The Goal is to Build Trust and Confidence
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Trust relaxes a person’s guard. Never violate that trust. Landing a sucker punch when someone has let their guard down is a betrayal. And word of such an act travels fast because that is what betrayed human beings do. Then, two of the most important characteristics a leader needs to lead have been damaged: trust and respect.
When a person lets down their guard, it is an act of trust. |
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That trust is earned. It will not be given on demand.
Setting the right environment is important.
Respecting that environment is critical.
And great CEO’s get it.
Setting the right environment is important.
Respecting that environment is critical.
And great CEO’s get it.